Auntie Jay

Dear Auntie Jay,
I have a friend, “Matilda,” who is very concerned about her weight. She is very thin, but she’s always saying she’s fat. She never eats lunch and she wears big, baggy clothing so we can’t really see what she looks like. I think she is anorexic, but when I said that to her, she reacted angrily and told me to mind my own business. What do you think I should do?
– Anxious in Antalya

Dear Anxious,

It is a common thing for girls to be concerned about their weight. Its a huge reason why people become bulimic and anorexic. It is also very hard to address this problem with a friend. It must hurt that your friend turns angrily toward you when your trying to help her. It is a possibility that your friend may be anorexic. The best thing you can do for her is be a good friend. Encourage her as much as possible and pray for her. If you think that this is a serious situation then you need to talk to her about seeing a professional or talking to a trusted adult. Be there for her, admitting to anorexica is a hard and embarrassing thing to do. Continually pray for her and help guide her to a counselor.


Dear Auntie Jay,

I have many close friends in my school. We all have unlocked lockers in our PE locker room. My friends feel quite comfortable to take things from my locker—my school uniform shirt, my coat, my deodorant—and use them. I don’t mind, but I wish they would put the things back where they found them. I have received two discipline slips because I cannot find my uniform shirt. What can I do to get them to respect my property and my need for “boundaries?”
–Frustrated in Ferikoy

Dear Frustrated,

It is hard to set boundaries with close friends, but its good that you have a lot of friends that you are close to and comfortable around. This is important cause if they are as close as you say they are, then you should be able to confront them. Talk to them, if they really are your friends, then they will be understanding. Go to them and tell them that your things are important to you and that if they want to borrow them, they must return them. If your uniform shirt continues to be missing, it might be a better idea to keep it in your locker so that you don't receive a discipline slip.



Dear Auntie Jay,
I like a guy at my school and he seems to like me, too. We do a lot of things together. Unfortunately, whenever we go somewhere, he doesn’t have much money so I have to pay for his Starbucks or McDonald’s. He said his parents don’t give him much of an allowance. I don’t mean to complain, but I don’t get much allowance, either. How can I get him to pay his fair share?
– Poor in Pendik
 
Dear Poor,
You seem to have a hard situation with this guy. It's understandable to be frustrated with always having to pay for him. You should talk to him, if he really likes you, he will understand. Tell him you can't afford to always pay for his food and Starbucks because you also have limited allowance. If you are too embarrassed to talk to him about this then my other advice to you is to have a change of scenery. I mean this by, changing where you go with him. Go to cheaper places and make less trips to Starbucks. Find cheaper activities to do with him so that you don't have to pay as much for him. Another idea is to go to eachothers house and watch a movie, that doesn't require money.